The Messy Middle
with Tina Unrue
This week, Samantha talks with life coach and owner of Selfish Mama, Tina Unrue. Tina writes in "Her Growth Collective" along with Samantha and a community of other women on Instagram each Thursday. Tina quotes Brenee Brown when explaining that "Her Growth Collective is a community that brings women together with the intention of growth." This episode begins by exploring Tina's journey from having a corporate job that was sucking the life out of her to becoming a life coach and working toward awareness.
Tina explains that part of her journey has included choosing a "word of the year" and then blogging every day about that topic. In 2017, she started with the word "awareness." Then, in 2018 it was "intention." 2019 was "opportunity (in challenges)," 2020 was "trust," and finally, this year it is "alignment."
Samantha and Tina go on to talk about an example of how certain things aren't always going to work for everybody. Samantha gives an example of a potty training book that worked on her first child, but not her second child. Then, they discuss how forgiveness is a daily choice that needs constant attention sometimes. The discuss that the "words of the year," and all of the work involved with making choices that align with their lives is like building a muscle. For Tina, it was the reason she was intentional on writing daily; so she could practice that which she realized was so practical to her after her life coaching training.
Tina shares her journey with weight loss over the last 20 years. Finally, she has realized that it’s not about losing weight anymore for her, but about being healthier. The thing is, actually, that she already knew that they ways she was able to lose weight before weren’t going to work for her now. It was intuitive. She figured out that her prior successes were forceful, which means that she had resistance to it. She had to “give a voice to that part of me that is scared to give up the coping mechanism” in order to find true health.
Tina invites women to find their whole selves in her coaching practice. She believes that we aren’t broken, but we are like a puzzle that includes the pieces of mind, body, soul, etc. She wants to help women figure out the way in which these pieces all fit together. This way, she can show her clients what it really means to be a happy, productive adult, not a miserable angry adult, which is the example she herself wants to set. Samantha brings up kintsugi, the Japanese art of creating beautiful works of art out of broken pottery and works this visual in to complement Tina's puzzle analogy.
As a coach, Tina wants you to step into your power. She doesn’t have the answers, but she has the ability to help you find your answer. Everybody’s answers are different.
You can find Tina Unrue at:
FB: @selfishmama
IG: @realselfishmama
Tina is a certified life and mindset coach and the founder of Selfish Mama. Tina once struggled with mom guilt and a general dissatisfaction with life, despite “having it all.” She found clarity and fulfillment when she focused on the internal rather than the external and hasn’t looked back. She continues her deep dive into herself, not just for own satisfaction and curiosity, but as a model for her young daughter and to continue to share her insights with her clients.
