Freedom

Today marks two years since starting Flushing It Out. Freedom feels like the perfect topic. I started FIO with a mission to help people feel connected and seen, combating shame by bringing things that are often left in the dark into the light.  What began in theory, something to help others, ended up being the catalyst for combating shame within my own life, leading to a whole new level of freedom I didn’t know existed.  I can now confidently say that sharing your shit with safe people is worth it and can lead to freedom and healing. 

Shame is a liar. Shame tells you that in order to keep you safe, to keep you free from harm, you need to keep things in the dark. Shame makes you believe that if people know the real you, the things you have done and/or struggle with, you will be unloved and rejected.  This leads to an imprisoned life. You are governed by your distorted thoughts and beliefs. 

Shame tells you that there is safety in hiding, but the opposite is true. Freedom comes from sharing your shame. Freedom comes from bringing what is in the dark to light.  When you share with safe people, you have the opportunity to receive the antidotes to shame: compassion, connection and community. 

Shame tells you that the only thing to come from honesty is loss. That is actually one thing shame gets right. When you share your shit, you lose the grip shame takes over your life. You lose the heaviness and crushing weight of carrying around secrets. You lose the generational trauma that gets passed on with every secret stored away, even the ones meant to protect others. 

What happens after all of this loss?  Freedom. Freedom to live your life in authentic and vulnerable relationships. Freedom to process your life, the good, the bad, and the ugly, with the knowledge that you are not alone. 

Sharing your shit isn’t easy. I get it, now more than ever. I can confidently say it’s worth it. I hope that through Flushing It Out you can find compassion, connection, and community to know you aren’t alone and are truly better together. 

This post is written in partnership with#hergrowthcollective, encouraging women to walk the path of self-development together.