Compliance

It’s all relative.  That is what keeps coming to mind when I think of this week’s Her Growth Collective’s topic of compliance.

The word compliance immediately causes a physical reaction. I sit up taller, get a lot more inquisitive and, if I’m being honest, defensive.  Basically, I’m ready for a fight because I do not want to ever be in the position of someone telling me to do something I don’t want to do. 

Although the definition of compliance is “the act or process of complying to a desire, demand, proposal, or regimen or to coercion,” my mind immediately goes to demand or coercion, which does not sit well with me. 

Of course, with every trigger, there is an opportunity to dig deeper and see what is really going on.  I realized after a coaching call on Tuesday where I was asked to make a joyful playlist of songs to exercise to, that I am more than happy to comply with a proposal from someone who I feel has my best interest at heart. 

I have sought a lot of guidance over the last year, as well as many other seasons of my life, and have been challenged to do things that I didn’t necessarily want to do, but knew that compliance would serve me and help me grow. 

Perhaps my aversion to compliance is less about complying (conforming, submitting or adapting) and more about who the person is behind it. If I feel unseen, unheard, or unloved, any request for compliance, even with the best of intentions, will not be received. However, when there is a healthy relationship, built on mutual trust, respect, and love, compliance can be a beautiful thing.

When it’s come to compliance, it’s all relative for me. I assume if it’s relative for me, it’s most likely relative for others. How can I ask others to comply with me unless there is first trust built?  It all goes back to connection. Before I ask anyone for their compliance, I must first ask if they feel seen, heard, and loved. 

This post is written in partnership with #HerGrowthCollective, encouraging women to walk the path of self-development together.