Reinvent Yourself

Are you ready to reinvent yourself? I am committing to losing weight this year. The weight of my own judgements, criticisms, and perceived failures. Care to join me?

I made a reel earlier today celebrating the fact that I chose to buy some new clothes in a bigger size since I have gained weight over the past year.  I could blame it on the pandemic, but if you have followed any of my other Her Growth Collective writings over the past 8 months, you know I have been working through some emotional healing and food has been a faithful coping mechanism.  The pandemic didn’t help, that’s for sure, but it wasn’t the cause.

I read somewhere that using food as a coping mechanism is not inherently bad. It helped me cope, so mission accomplished.  I don’t want to stay in that place forever, though.  As I begin to heal and feel motivated to make better choices and start exercising again, I am being mindful of recent realizations. 

Facebook memories from the last 8 years kept popping up and do you know what I saw EVERY time I looked at a picture?  I remembered exactly what I thought about myself that day; either a critique of my body in some way or a sigh of relief that I didn’t look as bad as I thought I would in the photo.  It’s f*cking exhausting!

Then, it finally started to click.  Whatever is going on has nothing to do with my actual physical size. There is healing that needs to take place regardless of my weight and regardless of my recent heartbreak. This isn’t a new issue and it’s not one that will go away by losing weight.

I’m ready to reinvent myself.  I’m ready to reinvent how I talk to and feel about myself.  I’m ready to reinvent my own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs that I have about myself.  I’m ready to reinvent my social media feed with who I follow and who I listen to.  I’m ready to break up with diet culture and disordered eating.

Perhaps reinventing ourselves is really about letting go of expectations and judgements and embracing our authentic selves. If you are ready to reinvent yourself, I hope that means healing the parts that are holding onto shame. Let go of the weight of your judgments, criticisms, and perceived failures and embrace who you are today.  

This post is written in partnership with#hergrowthcollective, encouraging women to walk the path of self-development together.