Be Present & Live In The Moment

I have found so much comfort in the words of Dr. Edith Eger. In her book, The Choice, she writes, “there is no forgiveness without rage.”  I felt seen in that moment. Although I have worked to find grace and compassion for myself and others, I have been overwhelmed at times with rage. 

Today, in her book The Gift, I read, “When we have unresolved grief, we often live with overwhelming rage.” 

I realized that if I am going to move past my traumatic experience and be fully present and live in the moment, I have to process all of my feelings, which means continuing to peel back the layers.

When we have been hurt, we have to allow ourselves the space to grieve both what did happen and what didn’t. It can be so tempting to play the “what if” and “should have” game but that won’t change anything and will keep us stuck in the past. To begin resolving our grief, Dr. Eger explains how we have to both release ourselves from responsibility for all the things that weren’t up to us and also come to terms with the choices we’ve made that can’t be undone. 

People often think of grieving as a period of time but the truth is that grief never goes away, it just changes. Dr. Eger writes, “To heal doesn’t mean to get over it, but it does mean that we are able to be wounded and whole, to find happiness and fulfilment in our lives despite our loss. Grieving is difficult, but it can also feel good. You can revisit the past. You can even embrace. You’re not stuck there. You’re here now. And you’re strong.”

As I peel back the layers of my heart, I see now that behind the rage is grief. She has been waiting for me to find her. She wanted to be seen. She isn’t here to hurt me but to help me heal. As I continue to make peace with and embrace her, I am able to be present and live in the moment. 

This post is written in partnership with#hergrowthcollective, encouraging women to walk the path of self-development together.