Stress

Stress has been a funny thing for me in 2020.  It has been the catalyst to change, healing and growth, as well as pain, discomfort, and self sabotage. I am grateful to Her Growth Collective for our weekly topics as a way to personally reflect on each topic and find wisdom and comfort in each other’s words.  When I have a hard time “showing up” to a topic, I am reminded that we are all in this together and I can embrace whatever it is I have to bring to the table. Rather than stressing about sharing the right message, I know that showing up is enough.  You are enough today, too.  Just in case you needed that reminder!  

The overarching message that keeps coming to my mind is that 2020 has been the year of embracing a “both/and” mentality rather than an “either/or” one. 

I remember telling a friend early in the year that although I was going through a hard time, “it was fine. Everything is fine.” She looked at me and said “everything is not fine. Some things are good and some things are bad.  It can be both, it doesn’t have to be either/or.”  

I realized that I have spent my life always knowing that “things will be fine.”  I have seen friends experience devastating loss and been encouraged by how they have walked through it.  I have heard story after story of people who have gone through unimaginable heartbreak and have come out stronger on the other side.  When hard times hit, I am often flooded with so much encouragement that it almost makes me feel numb to the pain, trauma, and stress of the moment.  The funny thing about repressed pain (trauma, stress) is that it has a way of manifesting in other ways.  

This year has been devastating and fulfilling.  The joy of new and rekindled connections has filled my soul in ways I can’t even describe.  Amongst the joy, there has also been pain. I am realizing that I can feel all the feelings and that the good and bad can coexist.  Rather than trying to repress the stress and anxiety, I have tried to use it to fuel my growth and healing. The same stress that has caused self sabotage is the same stress that has me hustling to continue my mission of building connections.  

Susan McCorkindale says we need to make peace with our grief.  Perhaps, I need to make peace with my stress.  Rather than trying to fight it, maybe it’s time to embrace it. Acknowledge it. Lean in to what it’s trying to show me. Since both the good and the bad moments provide opportunities for healing and growth, why can’t the same be true for stress? 

This post is written in partnership with #HerGrowthCollective, encouraging women to walk the path of self-development together.